For many of us the thought of bringing our baby into the world in a hospital is simply not an option in our minds, and for us the only way we can imagine is to have a natural childbirth, and preferably at home. But how in the world do we get our partners on board with us, and how do we even go about it without just sounding like a crazy hippy??
Oh yes, I had this same dilemma, it took me the majority of the pregnancy to convince Andy that I wasn’t just trying to be a rebel, but that it was the most educated thing to do. In the end he gave me his full support, he was absolutely wonderful during the birth, we had an amazing experience and now he is Mr. Home Birth!
My partner wrote this wonderful article on how you convince someone who is accustomed to thinking of birth as a medical emergency that it’s really not such a big deal.
Why Men Think Having a Natural Childbirth at Home is a Crazy Idea
By Andrew Briggs
The key is in understanding how they are accustomed to viewing birth. Imagine in general how uninformed women are about the birthing process and then imagine someone whose only experience in the matter comes from dramatizations they see on television.
Especially imagine the births you see in movies set in the Middle Ages, when I thought about birth before hospitals that’s where my mind went. So that’s how I thought a homebirth would be; dark and dank room with wet rags as our only tool against all the bleeding and screaming along with infections and dirt everywhere.
So that made me think it was going to be a dangerous, dirty and scary way to give birth!
When in reality that is not the case at all. And none of this view actually holds up if given a rational examination of the situation.
What you are going to need to show them is that home birth is just as safe as hospital birth because safety is going to be their only real concern.
How to Talk to Your Partner about Having a Natural Childbirth at Home
When you approach them you need to do so directly and let them know how important it is to you that they keep an open mind.
I was very stuck in the hospital mindset to begin with because I had used them often in the past so it was natural for me to think that everything they do there is for the best. So my initial reaction was to scoff and mock the idea but when April let me know how serious she was about the idea I became more open to evaluating it honestly.
Have Them Specify and List Their Fears
What you need to do is get them to analyze their preconceptions and actually specify and list the actual fears. Once the fears are listed they seem less overwhelming and can be refuted one by one. This will take some research, but from what I was told all the risks of home birth for healthy women can all be minimized by educating and preparing yourself.
When given enough information they will discover that there really is very little to fear, you just need to introduce them to that fact, and if they are anything like I was they really have only a vague idea of the potential risks.
Get the Facts on Natural Childbirth
Use as many hard facts as possible. If you can, get the actual percentages of complications they fear, show them how unlikely that situation happens in a homebirth scenario and what the midwife is able to do to help if it does happen.
Persistence is the Way to Get Them to Except Natural Childbirth
It can be very difficult to change an ingrained misconception. This is the key to getting them to adjust their opinion. It was for me, and without the persistent extermination of the causes of my fear it would have been difficult to imagine such a dramatic change in my paradigm.
The Big Whammy- Our Natural Childbirth
The birth itself I found to be a very exciting and fascinating experience!
Most of the birth I just tried to read what April needed and do anything I could to make her comfortable.
It was near the end when I went into the tub and got ready to deliver our daughter that I was most thankful to have the midwives there to reassure me that I was doing everything right. With them there I wasn’t really nervous or afraid of anything.
After Lileahs birth it seemed infinitely easier than I ever thought it would be! Everyone’s birth is different and I think I got off easy but in general I think guys are more afraid of not knowing what to expect than when they are in the middle of it.
It was great doing it at home because of how personal and peaceful it all felt. No body was running around screaming, and it was just me and April through the whole thing until the very end. I was in the tub and when she came out I brought her up out of the water. It was the most amazing experience of my life to be the first one to welcome Lileah into the world!
Seeing Natural Childbirth Made Me a Believer!
After experiencing the birth of my daughter and seeing the benefits of natural childbirth versus hospital births I was convinced that this is the only way to bring our children into the world. The difference in her and other kids I saw that were born on drugs in the hospital is amazing! Lileah could hold her head up immediately and had her eyes wide open and alert for hours after she was born. She was able to push herself up on her belly, she was unbelievably strong and healthy.
I was impressed and completely blown away by the experience so I have since been very much an advocate for natural childbirth! This is a huge change from how I thought just 6 months before Lileahs birth and it’s very much a result of Aprils research and our daughters beautiful entry into this world.
“ And remember be Persistant!” -Andy
Aww I love him! What a Great man! If you haven’t seen our birth video yet you should definately watch it, he completely surrounded me with LOVE and support, he was so Amazing!! Makes me cry every time! When you work together the possibilities for a great natural childbirth are infinite!
- Secret Doorway #4 to an Amazing Natural Childbirth-You May Enter Through Embracing the Sound of Birth
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- Natural Childbirth Mommas – You are more Important than You Know
- The Most Essential Secret to Natural Childbirth Video